Happiness and Calm

Happiness and serenity
(without worries and fears)

To feel lucky and remain calm have a lot to do to live without worries and fears. There is a classic book by Dale Carnegie: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living! The following is a summary of content from this book and another article:

What you should know about your worries and fears

If the burden of tomorrow and of yesterday must be borne today, even the strongest staggers.

Close the iron doors to the past and future. Break down your life in units of days. Live today.

Solve anxious problems:

What can happen to me as the worst, if I do not manage to solve my problem?
Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst if necessary.
Now, be calm and try to avert the worst, with which you have already resigned yourself in mind.

Always keep in mind the high price that your fears and concerns cost to your health. "Who does not know how to fight fear and worries dies early."

The most important methods for analyzing fear

Analyze problems:

1. What I'm worried about? / What is the problem?

2. What is the cause?

3. What can I do? / What are possible solutions?

4. How do I decide? / What solution do I choose?

5. When do I put my decision into action?

(otherwise collect facts - analyze facts - make a decision - and in the end act

We ought to act. If we do not run our decision collecting facts and analyzing completely is in vain - nothing but a waste of energy.

How do you break the habit of worring before you get destroyed by them

You are unfortunately if you have time to consider whether you are unhappy or not. Employ yourself and you have no time to worry.

Get not excited about trivialities, forget them fast. Life is too short for pettiness.

Before you brood too long. Check information and ask how likely things happen over which you are concerned, actually?

Accept the inevitable. Accept what can not be changed. Courage to change what you can change. And have wisdom to distinguish between them.

For each of suffering in this world, it seems, Is there a way or none.

If there is one, try's to find! Is none, you have to get over!

Limit worries:

1. How really important is the thing, which I'm worried about?

2. At what point should I put my worries a limit?

3. How much do I have to pay for these worries? Did I already pay more than it is worth?

What's past is past. Saw no sawdust.

Seven ways to develop a mental attitude that brings you happiness and peace

Our life is the product of our thoughts. Think and act full of laughter, then you also feel happy.

Never try to settle accounts with your enemies, we would hurt ourselves more than hurt them. Do not waste a minute thinking about people we dislike.

Do not heat up the oven for your enemy so fiercely, that you get burned yourself. (Shakespeare)

Sticks and stones can be dangerous to me, but words don't hurt me.

Don't be angry about ungrateful people. It is only natural that people forget to thank others. If we want to be happy, we must stop thinking of gratitude or ingratitude, and start to give out of an inner joy of giving.

To stop the worries, count the blessings of life - not the problems!

Do not copy other persons! Find ourselves, and stand to yourself!

If fate gives us a lemon - we make lemonade of it! Let us be content with what we have and then try to expand it with positive thoughts rather than to block us with sorrows.

In order to forget your own misfortunes: Take part in our fellow human beings and we forget ourselves. Do a good deed every day, which puts a happy smile on a face. The love we give away is the only love we keep.

How do you manage not to be afraid of criticism

Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Do not forget: you never kick a dead dog.

If you are being unjustly criticized: Do your best, and then you put up your old umbrella, so that the rain of criticism will not into your collar. Whatever people talk, you can stay the same as long as you're satisfied with all your heart that you're right. Or laugh at unjustified criticism, since then there is no reasonably reply.

Make a book about the stupid things we have made, and then analyze them. Since we can not be perfect, we ask for objective, useful and constructive criticism.

Six ways to keep fatigue and worry away and be full of energy and in high spirits

Have a rest before you get tired and afterwords you can do better.

Whether you are relaxing: Relax, whenever you have time. Work as much as possible in a comfortable position (avoid tension). Several times a day examine whether tense muscles, etc., which are not required to work, can be moved in a relaxed habit. At the end of the day check how tired you are. When you are tired, not because of intellectual work, but because of how you did the work.

Make a notebook with collected constructive reading: favorite poems, sayings, etc., read them when feeling low points. Get interested in people. Before bedtime make a work plan for the next day. (It performs better and you have more time to relax, because you do not ponder to get rushed and oppressed). Avoid too much relaxation and exhaustion.

Four good working habits:

1. Clear your desk of all papers that do not belong directly to your current job.

2. Do things in order of importance.

3. If you have a problem, solve it immediately, if you have the information necessary for decision.

4. Learn to organize, delegate and supervise.

Our fatigue does not arise often through work, but by worry, frustration and dissatisfaction. Think the right thoughts and your work - any work - is be less unpleasant for yourself and for your own benefit (not for someone else wanting it). Work with enthusiasm.

Concerns about insomnia usually make more damage than insomnia itself

Research on happiness (in focus)

Be "happy - that's entirely possible when one is aware of the mechanisms behind this feeling, says the Swedish Bengt Brülde researcher from the University of Gothenburg. "In the happiness research you can actually see the factors which make people happy purely statistical," he says. Brülde is working on a book (working title: "Suffering and Happiness"), which will be published this summer, and today's research on happiness from a mainly psychological but also philosophical perspective, summarizing research.

Just in time for Christmas, he gives the Focus Online - readers a few tips from the entire bookshelves filled area of research.

Actually, people know much of today's happiness research - at least intuitively. Nevertheless, the awareness is often not rich as to implement the findings of fact, virtually for their own happiness.

The material factor

Above all, the life takes place in the presence, instead of hoping for a happier time in the future in which we take an expensive vacation or buy a nice car, is one of the sticking points for Brülde.

"Statistically, there are no indications that material things, such as apartments or expensive vacations, make happy. Even money itself is relatively unimportant in terms of happiness, "he says.

Of course, a wage increase could lead to a short-term intoxication. The problem is, however, the well-documented in research so called "habituation effect", which often arrives just weeks after a newly acquired physical access. "The research shows: You get used to the new situation and then ends the happy rush," says Brülde.

Therefore it is important to include this habituation effect in life planning. "If too much hope is to be happy with material things it can go wrong," summarizes Brülde.

Do things together

Above all, love and close friendships have statistically the greatest and most lasting effect on happiness. Experience things in common with other people is more important than the possibly expensive - experience itself

"However, the advertising world suggests with considerable success others values for us. Nice people in the most attractive situations teach us that our life is not enough until we have purchased a specific product or a certain lifestyle, "he says. A kind of perfectionism, following and hunting people miss their own happiness, because they believe their lives have not been perfectly established.

Lazy and happy?

Swedish researchers take a lesson from the area's tourism industry: "The industry has made consumers believe that it is wonderful to sit in a warm place and do absolutely nothing. In order to be able to afford a vacation, where we should be passive and lazy, we first need to work hard. Few will enjoy when the time comes, the actual holiday because it is not as perfect as presented. Perhaps because of the mosquitoes, or because the hotel is being built, or because you are arguing with the accompaniment. "

A commonly used method in the happiness research is the observation of people who are equipped with a small computer and in the course of a day several times answer a query: "What are you doing? With whom? And how do you fill about this? ".

Overcome challenges

A simple method has shown that people often are not sufficiently aware about the situations that are good for them and which not. "The lack of awareness often prevents them from drawing the necessary consequences - for example, the dissolution of a relationship in which one feels really bad, but from which situation one not actively tries to get away," says Bengt Brülde.

The Swede cites the well-known research term "flow" a term describing a fluid state in which everything "goes smoothly on the hand" and you are satisfied.

This feeling is achieved, according to Bengt-depth analysis, if a task goes beyond ordinary routines and is really challenging but without burdening. A successful solution of the problem is realistic, but at the same time this task is to absorb all our power of concentration to complete. "When people look back on such a challenge mastered, they often say, 'There I was happy,'" says Brülde.

The road is the sense

Accordingly, a central lesson of today's happiness research is, that people are happier when they can actively contribute. By the German philosopher Hegel and later by the Nazis horribly abused the phrase "Work makes free" which Hegel himself solely and entirely unlike the Third Reich merely referring to "mental work" in this context acquires a different meaning.

"We human beings are purposeful creatures. It gives us purpose in life to work out something. The research shows that happiness does not come from sitting in the sun and doing nothing at all", says Brülde.

We are on the happiest, when we are active and bringing a life purpose to a destination. The realization of the goal is not the most important for beeing happy. "

(C) 2007 - All Rights Reserved, Dirk Oltmanns